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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum [entries|friends|calendar]

Nobody knows where they might end up.
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[28 May 2007|07:34pm]
I have got to get out of here. If I don't leave soon I feel like I am going to lose my mind. I can't deal with my mom anymore. I can't deal with my brother. Fuck knows I gave up trying to deal with my dad a long time ago.

June 14th can't come any sooner.

If anyone wants me I'll be using ecrivais to make entries and shit.
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[09 Mar 2007|07:18am]
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[08 Aug 2006|11:10pm]
Alright. What on earth has Becky been up to? Very little.

My colonoscopy was fine. I don't remember it at all. Apparently my colon is very pretty.

I also had a small bowel x-ray that was all types of disgusting.

I've been busy getting ready to leave this armpit known to some as "goldcity" and to others as the 8th circle of hell.

Recently I've been reintroduced to Pride and Prejudice...because I bought the dvd as a birthday present and um. I've been watching it at least twice a day for about a week now.

And also rereading the book. I must say that now I will never be interested in any men unless they are like Mr. Darcy. This is why I will become an old-maid. Not that that's a bad thing...
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[08 Jun 2006|04:38pm]


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[06 Jun 2006|05:33pm]
i am posting just so i can have this in my archives as posting on 6/6/06.

I totally forgot. I don't see the big deal.
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[28 May 2006|02:18am]
Okay, so at least 5 people, who don't know each other, have said that I am mean. Wtf, is this true? And if it is, how the hell do you STOP being mean when you don't think you are mean, and even if you realize you can be a huge bitch sometimes, what can you do? Am I destined to be a bitch for the rest of my life or something?
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[26 Apr 2006|10:04pm]


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[16 Mar 2006|11:29pm]
If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.
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broke down carssssss [02 Mar 2006|09:59pm]
[mood| crappy]
[music| none! ]

Man today was soooooo interesting. I woke up and went to English. We had a rough draft of a research paper-esque outline due. I had no idea of this (I missed Tuesday) until someone stopped me in the hall about it yesterday. I freaked out! But! I got it done. Over half the freaking class didn't have it. Seriously. Lazy bums.

Anyway our instructor starts telling us about our options for our final research paper and! He says Margaret Atwood! In case you couldn't tell by the title of my journal, I looove her. The Handmaid's Tale is my favorite book. I read parts of it almost every damn day. How sad.

BUT THEN THINGS GOT REALLY INTERESTING. You will never believe what happened...ahem story time!

After class I waited for my friend in the library because I was supposed to help her study for her Biology test Friday. When she arrives she suggests we go to Wendy's. That was fine with me! We went and ate yumminess.

Then...on the way back. Holy shit. I wish I had my camera. Anyway, her car broke down in the middle of the road, in front traffic light...which is in front of the school. Can you believe it? We were freaking out. I was so in shock I had her bio notes in front of my face most of the time but oh my god.

People are asses! Seriously! This guy drives by in a red mustang and he says "Are you guys okay?" and asks us what happened. When we tell him the gear broke (she drives a stick shift) he said "Do you guys have Triple A? I think you are out of luck" and DRIVES OFF. Gee thanks dude! Well yeah he couldn't do anything, but come on! Some people did ask if we needed any help, which was nice. Anywhooo...continuing.

When we finally calm down, she looks at me and says, "We have to push it into the parking lot." I am staring at all the cars going by thinking she is insane. Well...we get out of the car and I go to steer while she pushes...then! Luckily! Her boyfriend's sister drives by and gets out of her car (not being driven by her obviously) to help us, and a random stranger does to! So we all three push it safely into the parking lot and into a space.
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[27 Feb 2006|12:19am]
My theme song is Go Set Go - I Hate Everyone.

ALSO: Natural highs are like the best fucking thing ever. I wish I had them more often. Wow. JUST WOW. OKAY.

lol it took me liek 10 minutes to type that out wtf.
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[23 Feb 2006|06:41pm]
[mood| busy]
[music| ]Rosie Thomas - It Don't Matter to the Sun

Aiiiie. I have spent the last two hours modifying my lj. Isn't it pretty now? Well, I like it.

I have had so much freaking schoolwork to do. I really felt like I was a robot destined to do nothing but homework for the rest of my like. Then, last week, when I got my GA Season 1 dvd, I just watched that for like four days straight. No joke.

No, I'm not obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. What in the world would give anyone that idea?

I really need to do my FAFSA, but my dad hasn't given me his tax forms yet. Ugh ugh ugh. I also need to stop being perpetually late for everything.
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[03 Feb 2006|05:07pm]

I am obsessed with my camera, Zooey.



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[02 Feb 2006|09:47pm]

I got a myspace. ADD ME AND SUCH.
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[26 Sep 2005|09:44pm]
A patch of red-orange iodine
moves into a clotter sky
Don't give in just yet
Don't give in

A group in service uniforms
stand outside a wooden door
She's laughing, it's over
Time has been strange

Last things last is not enough
You can't accept this
Don't give in just yet

I hope that last things last
past these first charms,
these pale charms

I hope that last things last,
a hook or a flake
to hold on so you don't break

man this song is so beautiful...
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Prayer Before Birth - Louis Macneice [22 Apr 2005|11:40pm]
I am not yet born; O hear me.
Let not the bloodsucking bat or the rat or the stoat or the
clubfooted ghoul come near me.

I am not yet born; console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me,
with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me,
on black racks rack me, in blood-bath rool me.

I am not yet born; provide me
With water to dandle me, grass to grow for me, trees to talk
to me, sky to sing to me, birds and white light
In the back of my mind to guide me.

I am not yet born; forgive me
For the sins that in me the world shall commit, my words
when they speak me, my thoughts when they think me,
my treason engendered by traitors beyond me,
my life when they murder by means of my
hands, my death when they live me.

I am not yet born; rehearse me
In the parts I must play and the cues I must take when
old men lecture me, bureaucrats hector me, mountains
frown at me, lovers laugh at me, the white
waves call me to folly and the desert calls
me to doom and the beggar refuses
my gift and my children curse me.

I am not yet born; O hear me,
Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God come
near me.

I am not yet born; O fill me
With strengh against those who would freeze my
humanity, would dragoon me into a lethal automaton
would make me a cog in a machine, a thing with
one face, a thing, and against all those
who would dissipate my entirety, would
blow me like thistledown hither and
thither or hither and thither
like water held in the
hands would spill me.

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.
Otherwise kill me.
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[04 Apr 2005|06:18pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I am excited! Soon, I will be graced by the presence of new books!

Obviously I one of the only people who feels this way, so, I will not tell my friends, or else they will think I'm even more of a freak, because we all know ..."Who the hell reads BOOKS that make you THINK when it isn't for school, but for FUN?! WTF?"

I am awaiting their arrival like I used to await the arrival of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny (when the Bunny actually came....).

What did I get?

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
Cannot WAIT to read this. I've heard sooo many good things and I've been meaning to read it for like a year.

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.
Okay, I've been wanting to read some Murakami ever since reading an excerpt from Kafka on the Shore. Then, I heard that Kafka... was not as good as some of his other books, so I wanted to get something other than that, but I had NO idea where to start.
I wanted to get Windupbird Chronicles, but I kind of wanted to get Hard-boiled Wonderland too....then, I read this excerpt from Norwegian Wood:

April was too lonely a month to spend alone. In April, everyone around me looked happy. People would throw their coats off and enjoy each other's company in the sunshine -- talking, playing catch, holding hands. But I was always by myself. Naoko, Midori, Nagasawa: all of them had gone away from where I stood. Now I had no one to say "Good morning" to or "Have a nice day." I even missed Storm Trooper. I spent the whole month with this hopeless sense of isolation. I tried a few times to speak to Midori, but the answer I got from her was always the same: "I don't want to talk to you now," and I knew from her tone of voice that she meant it. ...

April ended and May came along, but May was even worse than April. In the deepening spring of May, I had no choice but to recognize the trembling of my heart. It usually happened as the sun was going down. In the pale evening gloom, when the soft fragrance of the magnolias hung in the air, my heart would swell without warning, and tremble, and lurch with a stab of pain. I would try clamping my eyes shut and gritting my teeth, and wait for it to pass. And it would pass -- but slowly, taking its own time, and leaving a dull ache behind.

It sealed the deal, and I got it.

I also got four AP review books...but those are no fun!!!!


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On Turning Ten by Billy Collins [09 Mar 2005|11:11pm]
The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.
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<3 beatles [27 Feb 2005|11:17pm]
Your day breaks, your mind aches,
You find that all her words of kindness linger on,
When she no longer needs you.
She wakes up, she makes up,
She takes her time and doesnt feel she has to hurry,
She no longer needs you.
And in her eyes you see nothing,
No sign of love behind the tears cried for no one,
A love that should have lasted years.
You want her, you need her,
And yet you dont believe her,
When she says her love is dead,
You think she needs you.
And in her eyes you see nothing,
No sign of love behind the tears cried for no one,
A love that should have lasted years.
You stay home, she goes out,
She says that long ago she knew someone but now,
Hes gone, she doesnt need him.
Your day breaks, your mind aches,
There will be times when all the things she said will fill her head,
You wont forget her.
And in her eyes you see nothing,
No sign of love behind the tears cried for no one,
A love that should have lasted years.
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i burnt my cookies cause of this... ;___; [08 Feb 2005|10:42pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Okay, so I finally decided to post some picture from Thailand up here.

EnjoyCollapse )

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If Jesus is the God of the US, then I think we're thinking about two different Jesuses.... [23 Jan 2005|02:43am]
I believe in equality for everyone no matter how they were born.
I believe everyone deserves the ability to seek health care without worry of cost.
I believe the world would be better if we could all lend a helping hand to the less fortunate.
I believe that peace is the best route.
I believe that all life is precious.
I believe it is a woman's right to chose what happens to her body and do so safely.

I am a liberal.

"Woe to you legislators of unjust laws who rob the poor of justice..."
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